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Simple rules to dating

Having a child mutate into a teenager is a bit like being an airline passenger who must suddenly takeover for a stricken pilot and land the plane. With a book like this-an "owner's manual," if you will-you may learn enough to make it to the airport safely.

Here's a checklist that you can use to confirm your worst fears.

Warning Signs That You May Be Living with a Teenager- Your phone is always busy, so you put in a second line and it's always busy.- Your gas tank is always empty and your laundry basket is always full.- While you've generally been in favor of them up until now, suddenly "Miracle Bras" seem like a really bad idea.- You realize it's been more than a year since you haven't had to pay a late fee when you rent a video.- Your car insurance suddenly costs more than your car.

If a daughter fails to save enough money to purchase a homecoming dress, why, then, she doesn't get a homecoming dress! Having a teenage daughter puts you in what is commonly referred to as a "punting situation." However, there is no receiving team on the field, so you're going to have to carry the ball yourself.

(Naturally, no one else in the family agrees with this.)There are a few exceptions to this now-is-the-time-to-experience-some-of-life's-pitfalls philosophy: some calamities, such as teenage boys, are viewed as still too dangerous for your daughters in all but the most controlled of situations. It's not going to be easy - in fact, I'm pretty sure it's impossible.

If you've had a baby, or are engaged in breeding, I will tell you what you have to look forward to.

If it's been about a dozen birthdays since you brought home that darling little bundle of girl baby, I am willing to explain the skills and tactics you will need to make it through the next eight years with a minimum of trauma.And these are the very experiences your daughters will most crave, thrusting the father/daughter relationship into a series of battles that can be summed up as the father saying, "I can't help you out of every unfortunate situation you get yourself in to. But no one else is going to do it: you've got to, you're the father.You need to do things on your own now, except for when I don't want you to."On the other side of the battle zone, your daughter is saying, "I don't need your advice. Not only is this completely ridiculous, but if you allow your parents to express this thesis, they will become obsessed with the idea, and that's all you'll hear for the next decade.)I Need You, Leave Me Alone When children are young, dads regard themselves as giant shock absorbers, there to protect the family from the ruts and bumps on the road of life. You begin to see yourself as more like a coach, running your children through practice drills so they'll be better prepared when they have to go out and play the real game.Life's a contact sport, dads will argue, so a few non-fatal bruises along the way merely toughens the body and steels the soul.(My wife ignores my instructions and actually spends money trying to satisfy these adolescent appetites, which is a bit like trying to warm a winter day by turning up the heat and opening your windows.)Anyway, the world is positively teeming with teenagers, and as long as people continue to think about starting a family, the trend is likely to continue. I am only willing to accept the blame for the ones that my wife caused and have taken educational measures with her to make sure it doesn't happen again.But if I am, indeed, surviving the experience, perhaps I can share with you some of the knowledge I have so painfully gained over what has been more than half a decade of tears, hormones, and stress fractures.In the last season of "19 Kids and Counting," you've seen not one, but two Duggar daughters (Jill and Jessa) go through the courting process.And you've probably noticed that the Duggars take courting (their version of dating) very seriously.After he makes his interest known, Jim Bob helps vet the suitor to make sure he embodies the values the Duggar girls require in a mate.Watch below as a nervous Ben Seewald asks Jessa Duggar to officially court.

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