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I'd never suggest that a couple trade their warm, safe home life for better sex.
Why keep your distance just so you can make love with abandon?
That's why what moves us sexually is usually one of our most closely guarded secrets. In a marriage, opening that window means being seen emotionally naked 24/7. I've seen lots of people blush, but I've never seen anyone get angry. Not only am I a doctor I've been married for 12 years.1.
Luckily, with so much passion locked inside us, there's a lot to unlock. For most couples, being married makes being passionate together more difficult, not less. Assume you don't know everything about each other sexually.
I want to know." Now when he asks how your day was, you might just say, "Fine," and leave it at that. Nobody would write that kind of dialogue into a romantic movie unless it was a sad or serious one.
But that's how married people generally talk because no one can always act adoring or keep up an air of mystery while sharing the same space with his or her spouse, year after year.
Relaxing in our marriages and freeing ourselves from the pressure of trying to impress our partners has a predictable outcome: Our partners are not impressed.
The magnetic spell we once cast on them begins to lift.
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Here are the truths about sex, as I've learned from years of counseling, for most married couples: Love is constant; passion needs recharging No surprise: Everything in the universe eventually demagnetizes when left in proximity to something of the opposite charge. Some people fall out of lust in seven days, never mind seven years or 17.
Basic animal attraction is a force of nature that seems designed to make us mate or not mate for life.