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And this is important: Before she can respond to your ask, WORKING, invite her to say "no" if the answer is no or "straight" if the identity is straight. I'm a lesbian, and my partner recently reconnected with a childhood friend.

At first I felt sorry for him, as he was having a health crisis.

I've had almost exclusively hetero relationships, but I've been attracted to women all my life and all of my masturbation fantasies involve women.

But he's better now, and his pushy behavior really gets to me.

He texts her at all hours—and when he can't get in touch with her, he bugs me.

Feeling Really Unsure Since This Remarkably Amazing Temptress Entered Domain That nice straight lady from work is making out with you because she likes it (the thirst is real), FRUSTRATED, or she's making out with you because she wants you in her life and believes—perhaps mistakenly—that this is the only way to hold your interest/fuel your obsession (the thirst is faked).

If she likes it, then she's a lesbian or bisexual but so invested in her heterosexual identity that she can't "go there." (Alabama, you said?

The odd thing is that she vacillates between heavily making out with me every time we are alone together and saying, "No, I can't, I'm straight!

" Why does she do everything but sex if she's straight?

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I've never had a "straight" girl act like this toward me. Three weeks ago, I responded to a man whose coworker asked him if he might want to sleep with the coworker's wife—a coworker who was "not [his] boss"—and people jumped down my throat for entertaining the idea because it is NEVER EVER NEVER EVER okay to sleep with a coworker and/or a coworker's spouse. Your straight-identified workmate could be straight, or she could be a lesbian (lots of lesbians come out later in life), or she could be bisexual (most bisexual women are closeted, and others are perceived to be straight despite their best efforts to identify as bisexual)—and lots of late-in-lifers and/or closeted folks don't come out until some hot same-sex prospect works up the nerve to ask them out.

And now here I am responding to a question from a lesbian who wants to sleep with a coworker. If your coworker isn't currently under you at work and you're not an imminent promotion away from becoming her supervisor and your company doesn't incentivize workplace romances by banning them, ask your coworker out on a date—an unambiguous ask for a date, not an appointment to meet up at the dog park.

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