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Dating after divorce red flags

Eventually, there was no choice but to end the marriage and EJ emerged from what he could only imagine was to be the worst time in his life.Until his second wife racked up huge amounts of debt and then deserted him with it.While you may have help that frees you up for the occasional vacation, dating with kids at different ages and stages can pose logistical and financial challenges, much like age-stage differences in the couple itself.

local ts dating - Dating after divorce red flags

Red Flag 1: Beware the Rebound: be careful of the divorced man who is only recently out of his marriage.By the time we met, EJ was financially strapped, his relationship with his kids was in trouble, and he doubted he could trust a woman ever again.There was nothing EJ could do to change the situation he was in; he was responsible for paying alimony, child support and his ex-wife’s debt.By the time he was thirty he found himself with a busy job, a big mortgage, two kids and a wife who was mentally unravelling.She had an affair, admitted it, promised to never do it again … Worst of all, she threatened to take sole custody of the kids if he ever tried to divorce her.“EJ” was always the guy people counted on—smart, driven, loyal. Needless to say he was devastated when his first marriage turned into a mess. It gave him a sense of purpose, made him feel good.What isn’t normal or healthy, however, is when those conversations start to become the only ones you’re having anymore, and you’re starting to feel like talking to him is getting to be a real downer.If you find yourselves talking, night after night, about his feelings surrounding his divorce, and if you realize you are wiping his tears more often than you are laughing or having fun together, it could be a sign that he’s still very preoccupied with his previous relationship and not emotionally ready for a new relationship with you..But extreme discomfort, acting out, and outright interference may signal issues just beneath the surface. We would be wise to observe their reactions, heed their reasoned warnings, and consider their hesitation.Red Flag 3: Age and Stage If you each have children at different stages – for example, your kids are in elementary school and his are in college – anticipate some potential problems if you’re hoping for a long-term relationship.

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