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He's laid back, with a stoned personality (though he's not into weed), and is fixated on notions of masculinity and femininity.
"I’m sleeping with guys and girls for now, but I'll probably just end up doing guys because that's how these things usually work," he said with such tranquility he might as well have yawned it all out.
I told him that he was awfully sure of himself for a period that was supposed to be fraught with uncertainty. Allen is beefy and athletic, with a body somewhere between a football and baseball player.
In light of this, Allen’s ease with sex is surprising. He is, after all, 19."Kissing men kind of skeeves me out a little bit," he explained. If anything, the hardest time has been had by Allen, as he accepts their acceptance."I’m really comfortable with the situation, but it’s new so I’m insecure about it," he says, having come out a little over a year ago. I think when you label someone gay, straight, or bi, you’re judging them. ("Guys just need a release, really.") "I don’t really run into many vers[atile] guys," he said.
He's totally versatile and will top or bottom depending on the guy—his age or younger, he likes to top; for guys older than him, he prefers to bottom. I think of it more as a given right type of thing: You’re older so I should bottom." When he isn't holding on to teenage shitheadedness, Allen can be very polite. When he refused to kiss me on the mouth, I joked that he was acting like a whore in . "I would be completely fine blowing someone over making out with him. "I have no problem telling people I’m bisexual or I like guys, but I’m not used to being called bi or gay. "I think more people should be vers, it’s a lot funner.
He told me this duality was “stressful and fun.”“Aside from the fact that they don't know I've slept with men, I'm very myself with my straight friends,” he explained. He still feels that excitement.“It's my favorite thing about gay sex: the forbidden fruit,” he said.
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“I am pro gay rights and I have gay friends that they know about.”Park told me that it wasn’t until he and I hooked up and talked about his experiences with men and women that he even considered how all of this might be related to an identity. “Sometimes I wonder if I was openly gay if I would enjoy it as much because it wouldn't be something I'm not supposed to be engaging in.”When he went to South America at age 22, he lost his gay virginity to a guy in a hotel room they rented by the hour.I never quite understood the stigma against bisexual men.(There is one, especially among gay men.)Granted, labeling oneself a “bisexual” is something many men do to ease into full-on homosexuality; it is also a way for men to hold on to a shred of "acceptable" sexuality as they pursue their less mainstream interests (believe me, I've been there).During a social lull, when it was just the two of us, I called him out on it, thinking booze was making him oblivious or he just had no manners in this specific arena. He explained this was all new to him, that he wasn’t yet ready to be so casual about the guy he’d brought along. His gay life is full of gay friends, with whom he goes to gay bars. His straight life is populated by a mixed group, united by the belief that he is exclusively heterosexual. His first sexual experience occurred with his best male friend at 6-years-old. Because it’s virtually impossible to consume straight porn without a stray gay image or several crossing your eye line (and vice versa), curiosity led him down a gay-porn K-hole.In that world, he has gay friends to whom he is not out. When he broke up with his first girlfriend, he consumed more porn and much of it was gay.“It was more intriguing, and I think part of it was feeling like I wasn't supposed to be doing that,” Park told me.He just did what he did, and organized his social life around it.“One of the main reasons I think I might be bisexual is because of you,” he said to me. They had met out at a gay club he’d attended with an older woman (“single mom, really hot”) and her gay son.He traveled the continent, frequenting its gay nightlife offerings until he met a guy that he began sleeping with regularly, and then almost every night. They were together for five months.“Nothing made it weird,” he said. But remember, I was out of my element, in a different country. Mind you, I was having sex with women at the same time in my hostel off and on.I hate being told by clueless straight bigots what’s going on inside of me; I’d hate getting it from gays even more.I believe men when they tell me they’re bisexual—or, as happens more often, when they claim to be attracted to men and women, but don’t want to be saddled with a label. Within the past year, all four have slept with (and to sleep with) both men and women. All of them have hooked up with more men than woman (mostly because of matters of ease and availability), and none feels particularly tied to a monolithic culture, the way a gay guy might (in popular culture bisexuality tends to exist as a nuance or subplot, unlike scene-stealing homosexuality).He'd hooked up with a female "about three weeks" before we met. He meets the men that he hooks up with online."For the time Grindr works because you can find other masculine guys that are like you," he said."And then if you never want to see them again, you never have to."Houston, on the other hand, is attempting to erase that line between sex and passion completely. That seems to be a pattern for me.”Houston seems to get a lot, though. The last time he’d slept with a woman was about five months before our conversation for this piece.