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He'd hooked up with a female "about three weeks" before we met. He meets the men that he hooks up with online."For the time Grindr works because you can find other masculine guys that are like you," he said."And then if you never want to see them again, you never have to."Houston, on the other hand, is attempting to erase that line between sex and passion completely. That seems to be a pattern for me.”Houston seems to get a lot, though. The last time he’d slept with a woman was about five months before our conversation for this piece."I’m sleeping with guys and girls for now, but I'll probably just end up doing guys because that's how these things usually work," he said with such tranquility he might as well have yawned it all out.
In light of this, Allen’s ease with sex is surprising. He is, after all, 19."Kissing men kind of skeeves me out a little bit," he explained. If anything, the hardest time has been had by Allen, as he accepts their acceptance."I’m really comfortable with the situation, but it’s new so I’m insecure about it," he says, having come out a little over a year ago. I think when you label someone gay, straight, or bi, you’re judging them. ("Guys just need a release, really.") "I don’t really run into many vers[atile] guys," he said.
He's totally versatile and will top or bottom depending on the guy—his age or younger, he likes to top; for guys older than him, he prefers to bottom. I think of it more as a given right type of thing: You’re older so I should bottom." When he isn't holding on to teenage shitheadedness, Allen can be very polite. When he refused to kiss me on the mouth, I joked that he was acting like a whore in . "I would be completely fine blowing someone over making out with him. "I have no problem telling people I’m bisexual or I like guys, but I’m not used to being called bi or gay. "I think more people should be vers, it’s a lot funner.
He just did what he did, and organized his social life around it.“One of the main reasons I think I might be bisexual is because of you,” he said to me. They had met out at a gay club he’d attended with an older woman (“single mom, really hot”) and her gay son.
He traveled the continent, frequenting its gay nightlife offerings until he met a guy that he began sleeping with regularly, and then almost every night. They were together for five months.“Nothing made it weird,” he said. But remember, I was out of my element, in a different country. Mind you, I was having sex with women at the same time in my hostel off and on.
I hate being told by clueless straight bigots what’s going on inside of me; I’d hate getting it from gays even more.
I believe men when they tell me they’re bisexual—or, as happens more often, when they claim to be attracted to men and women, but don’t want to be saddled with a label. Within the past year, all four have slept with (and to sleep with) both men and women. All of them have hooked up with more men than woman (mostly because of matters of ease and availability), and none feels particularly tied to a monolithic culture, the way a gay guy might (in popular culture bisexuality tends to exist as a nuance or subplot, unlike scene-stealing homosexuality).
When people say that, I still get a little defensive about it."So is he gay or what? More people should be bisexual, it’s a lot funner."Allen draws the line between sex and passion: Sex is for all, but passion is for women, or at least, it was when we talked initially.
He "didn't want to think about" how many men he's hooked up with, but he told me that it's more than he can count on his fingers and toes, but fewer than 60.
None of these guys is particularly fond of the term “bisexual.” Call it I parlayed the sexual intimacy I shared with these four guys—all of whom identify more or less as bisexual, all at various points in their development as adults—into an interview scenario.
In general, they were less naturally introspective about their sexuality than your average gay guy.